Secrets and Lies

In White Collar, the secrets and lies were sometimes fascinating, and sometimes frustrating. How many times did we want to yell at the screen that Peter and Neal should just talk to each other? How many times did Peter admonish Neal that keeping secrets hurt rather than helped, and then went home and kept secrets from El to protect her?

That’s what was in the back of my mind when I created a version of Neal who couldn’t lie to Peter.

Warning for spoilers for stories in the Caffrey Conversation AU.

In the first story of the AU, I had a fever and a joke combine to flip a switch in Neal’s mind. He finds himself unable to lie to Peter. He can still deflect or refuse to answer, but a direct lie is beyond him. This is inspired by the episode in which Peter says Neal lies for a living and Neal retorts that he’s never lied to Peter.

Going beyond that, in my first two stories Peter learns more about Neal’s background and childhood than he did in the first three seasons of the show. I’ve received comments from readers who were surprised at how much Neal shared with Peter in the first stories. The fact that Neal agrees to give a confession means Peter and the FBI know a great deal about what Neal has done.

Neal might be constrained from lying, but it’s still in his nature to keep secrets. The further we get into the AU, the more we realize that Neal still has a lot he hasn’t told Peter. What are Neal’s reasons for keeping secrets in our AU?

First, it’s youthful playfulness. We see this in the third story of the AU. Neal won’t tell Peter what he was doing on his vacation, making it a game to keep Peter guessing.

Second, it’s a test. In By the Book, there is a balancing act between Peter and Neal, where they measure Peter’s trust by his willingness not to run a background check on Henry while Neal shares tidbits about his friend.

Third, it’s to protect people. When giving his confession, Neal didn’t want to incriminate Mozzie or Kate. Likewise, he struggles with how much to tell Peter in Caffrey Disclosure, because of promises he had made to Henry. This leads to a struggle for Neal, because as much as he wants to protect Henry’s secrets, that’s countered by his need to make sure Henry is safe. This need to protect others has its roots in his childhood, when he was told to keep his abuse a secret or his mother would be harmed. “Don’t tell” was a lesson literally beaten into him. And that history of abuse leads us to another reason for keeping secrets...

Fourth, it's to protect himself. He adopted this as a defense mechanism when he repressed the memories of his childhood abduction. It's a motivation in accepting the deal from the FBI at the start of the AU, because he worries he'll soon be caught and sent to prison if he doesn't take the deal. A more recent example is in Silbrith's The Queen's Jewels, when he again fears that he'll go to prison if he doesn't take matters into his own hands. That fear of prison is closely linked to his next reason for keeping secrets...

Fifth, it’s intrinsic to his flight instinct. That’s his reason for withholding one alias during his confession. He needs to know he still has an identity to escape into, in case the deal with the FBI doesn’t work out. The identity he chooses ties back to his desire to protect people, because if he admitted that he was Neal Legend, then he would also blow the aliases that his cousins were using.

Sixth, it’s because he thinks he won’t be believed. Silbrith has invoked this theme recently in her Arkham Files: Visions from Beyond. This reason ties back to self protection. If he's in trouble and thinks he won't be believed, then the concern is that he'll be fired or even imprisoned.

Lastly, it’s because he doesn’t want to disappoint people. We see this in Silbrith’s Complications, where Neal doesn’t tell Peter about his upcoming entrance exams. If Peter doesn’t know, then he won’t be disappointed if Neal fails.

Of course a complicated character like Neal often has multiple motivations for his actions. For instance, consider the fact that Neal’s confession focused only on activities in the FBI’s jurisdiction. Silbrith was fascinated with his time in Europe, and crafted a complex backstory around those years that will fuel many more stories. Why did Neal leave out his European adventures? I see that as a mix of several of his reasons for keeping secrets. It ties to his playful nature to get away with leaving it out. It allows him to protect people like Chantal. It also leaves him a set of friends and hideouts he can still turn to if he needs to escape.

Going back to the beginning of this post, Neal refrains from lying to Peter, but he is an accomplished con artist. He can definitely sell a lie if he needs to. We witness this in Caffrey Aloha when Neal convinces a thief that he’s using the Caffrey family for their wealth and connections. It’s an impressive feat, and yet Peter sees the toll it takes. Living that lie long enough to sell the con makes Neal suspect that he must be a bad person to be so convincing at being bad. These are experiences that lead to Neal believing he needs to have secrets; it’s a form of protecting people and not disappointing them, by keeping a distance from them.

Therefore, Neal has a lot of secrets and many reasons for keeping those secrets. No wonder Peter worries about him. I think that by now Peter at least understands what motivates Neal to keep secrets, and accepts that Neal is fundamentally a good person. In fact, Peter realizes that Neal needs to accept that he’s a good person, and then perhaps he won’t feel the burden of needing so many secrets.

I have enjoyed turning the tables on Neal occasionally, showing his frustration when others keep secrets. Most recently I've done this in the Caffrey Vignettes. In the first vignette, the secret is actually a birthday gift - a little mystery for Neal and Peter to solve together on vacation. In the second vignette, which will be published very soon, Neal is worried when Henry seems to be keeping a secret. And in the third vignette, which will be published in a few weeks, Henry's secrets and lies, in the form of a practical joke on April Fool's Day, will push Neal too far, and he'll seek revenge. Meanwhile, Silbrith has addressed the lone wolf tendencies of both Neal and Henry, and has gotten them to agree that they need to keep each other informed of what's going on in their lives.

With Henry - who can read Neal very well - soon to move to New York City, Neal will certainly be challenged to keep secrets. I wonder if Peter will form an alliance with Henry in an attempt to keep up with Neal's secrets? Well, that's a secret we'll have to ask Silbrith to share with us.