Lion's Lair: Clueless in Arkham

Readers of my Caffrey Conversation stories know that there is a romantic subplot revolving around New York Neal and Sara. Diana Berrigan, who writes the Arkham Files stories, is being given suggestions by secret matchmakers Elizabeth, Henry, and June. They hope Arkham Neal and Sara's relationship will nudge their New York counterparts in Cupid's direction. Sara and Neal are well aware of the conspiracy. In response, they've hatched their own scheme, the Clueless con, to keep their dates a secret. They're not shy about offering their own ideas for the stories.

Figuring out who contributed what can be quite a challenge. For instance, whose idea was it that Arkham Neal and Sara should be so clueless about each other's feelings? Sara Pabodie is convinced Neal Carter only thinks of her as a friend. After careful analysis, she's positive he's corralled her in the dreaded friend zone. For her to advance into a deeper relationship, she'll need to break down that wall separating them. Sara restricts herself to tiny steps to encourage him along. If she becomes too aggressive, she fears he'll bolt like a wild colt.

Unlike Sara, Neal is a bundle of insecurities. He's challenged by an uncertain future and alien DNA while his all-too-human hormones are leading him in a different direction. He tells himself he can't reveal his feelings for Sara because it wouldn't be fair to her. He knows that he's not the type she usually dates and fears she wouldn't be interested in him.

It's hard to see how they could make more of a muddled mess of their love lives, but New York Neal and Sara are determined to try. Sara remembers very clearly her college years and early failures. She can easily relate to Arkham Sara hiding her anxiety under a confident exterior. As for Neal, despite his well-deserved reputation as an expert con artist, he's had few long-term relationships with women. He's been rejected by Kate and Fiona. Arkham Neal's insecurities are something he can sympathize with.

For Henry, El, and June, the desired outcome is clear. What Neal and Sara hope to get out of the Arkham sputtering romance is less obvious. They'd initially volunteered their services in order to keep up with what the matchmakers were plotting. Lately, though, they too have become invested in their characters' progress. Often it's Diana who has the last laugh as she twists and manipulates the suggestions as she wishes. An example is the opening scene in Lion's Lair where Diana attempts to teach Neal judo. That was pure Diana.

In one respect, Neal and Sara are especially envious of their Arkham counterparts. Neal Carter and Sara Pabodie don't have any matchmakers in their lives. In earlier stories, Arkham Peter teased Neal about his fake girlfriend, but the joking stopped once Peter found out about the complications Neal is facing. Elizabeth too is maintaining a hands-off approach. Diana refuses to say whose idea that was, but New York Neal and Sara are appreciative.

Lion's Lair on Archive of Our Own
Lion's Lair on FanFiction